The Unintentional Dismembering of a Chocolate Cake
by owl-eats-waffles
Summary: After the events catalogued in Brisingr, Eragon, Saphira and Arya set off to the elven city of Ellesmera, where a series of events unfold that could change the course of history and have a serios detrimental effect for everyone who's not an evil villain..


The Unintentional Dismembering of a Chocolate Cake

_This story came to me whilst in a delightful coffee shop in Ironbridge, and (entirely intentionally) dismembering a chocolate cake. I'm not entirely sure how I got the idea, but hey, when a story involving dragons walks into your head, you don't argue with it. In fact, you don't argue with dragons full stop. Or poke them. But I digress. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to said delightful coffee shop. I hope you like it._

Saphira was enjoying her stay in Ellesmera. The elves loved her, tried to worship her, and constantly brought her food. This suited Saphira just fine.

She took a break from devouring the elves' latest offering, which was a large jelly in the shape of a hippo (apparently the vegetarian policy did not include desserts), to locate Eragon using her mind.

He had left earlier that morning to find Arya, and Saphira wanted to check he was still alive and hadn't fallen into a crevasse or off a cliff. Both of these incidents had happened in the past, when he'd been to busy starting at the elf to watch where he was putting his feet. Thankfully, due to a combination of magic, string, duct tape and a large blue dragon, he had survived these previous incidents. However, Saphira didn't want to risk yet another potentially fatal accident. They were bad for one's health.

As soon as the aforementioned large blue dragon had ascertained that her rider was indeed still alive and breathing, she returned to her jelly. Only to be interrupted by Arya's voice inside her head.

"Barzûl! He's following me again! Can't you _do something?_" Arya was obviously getting frustrated. You could tell by the way her mental voice had risen three octaves and was audible to bats.

Saphira shook her head. She didn't blame Arya, even though her head was ringing slightly. Seriously, when was Eragon going to realise that following Arya around, staring at her and consequently tripping over things (like tree roots, elves, houses) was not the _best _way to win her heart.

"When indeed?" Came the reply. "Personally, I wish he'd hurry up with the realising. You couldn't tell him to get over me again, could you?"

"And have him not speak to me again for three months, like last time? That'd go down _great _with your mum!"

"Fair point."

There was a short silence, as Arya debated her options and Saphira concluded the devouring of her tree. When the tree was no more, the elf spoke.

"Got it! I've told him I need to go and practice my archery, as I haven't been to the training ground for so long. Not since he started asking me to lunch." Another of Eragon's annoying habits. And, unfortunately, due to the fact that in elven etiquette it is more impolite to refuse an invitation to dine than to attempt to eat the host's dragon, Arya spent most of her time having lunch with Eragon.

Saphira nodded her approval of the plan, just as Arya announced its failure. "He's coming with me," she sighed. After a moment's thought, she added hopefully, "I suppose I could always shoot him..?"

Saphira shot the elf a mental scowl, which is quite an achievement, even for a dragon. She distinctly heard the phrase, "Only an idea..." and, just before Arya's mental voice faded completely, "Honestly, I don't know why we bother with dragons… Can't even control their riders…"

Saphira gave an angry snort, accidentally setting fire to a nearby tree.

The elves, who had been standing next to the dragon after depositing a large lemon drizzle cake in front of her, immediately ran over to the makeshift campfire. They formed a circle around the burning tree, doing 'The Lappa Dance' and singing guide songs. The creator of the conflagration hummed along to a few verses of the one about the penguins, before her wandering attention was caught and held by the rather magnificent cake.


End file.
